I read Lovecraft as a teenager; could not resist this:
Stolen from the worthy lady shusu:
Oh Great Cthulhu!
I have been an extremely diligent devotee this year.
In March, I exposed merlinwood to soul-rending horrors (250 points). In August, I rescued cantusaequor from being sacrificed (-200 points). In September, I recruited drachenstein as a new cultist (30 points). In February, I legally changed my name to Randolph Carter (-40 points). When the stars were right, I prepared an ocean voyage to R'lyeh (200 points). In January, I visited my relatives in Innsmouth (100 points).
In short, I have been very good (340 points) and deserve to be eaten first.
Your humble and obedient servant, paulgraves_de
Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!